ComplaintsforCharles F Dewhirst Funeral

• Initial Complaint

  06/26/2024

  Complaint Type:

  Delivery Issues

  Status:

  Answered

  More info

  To Whom It May ********** 6/14/2024 my mother passed away and her wishes were to be cremated. Dewhirst / Boles were contracted for the job. She was picked up at date of death and cremated. On 6/17/2024, I made an appointment with a ********** for the coming Thursday 6/20 where I paid $2,660 ( out of pocket ). I ordered a beautiful Urn with Angel ***** and its to be delivered Friday 6/28. I notified ********** that I would be picking up my mothers remains on Saturday 6/29. He told me he was giving my mothers remains to her husband. After a brief conversation I told him he can give the remains to whom he wants, but he / they owe me $2600. I was told I would not be refunded. So, I have an Urn with no remains and Im out $2600. I paid for something and didnt get it or even the benefit of a refund. Please HELP! Sincerely, *************************

  Business response

  06/27/2024

  Dear Better Business Bureau,

  My name is ******************************** and I have been a Licensed Funeral Director / Embalmer for almost 30 years.  I consider myself to be of good character and conduct myself professionally at all times. in response to ****************** complaint filed with the BBB, I wish to clarify that the wrong funeral home is listed.  We are the Goundrey Dewhirst Funeral Home, *******************************. I would like to add some context to the situation of which ************** has lodged this complaint. ****************** mother, *********************** passed away at her home in *****, ***  Her husband and Next of ***, *************************** had met with me several days prior to her passing, to provide me with pre-arrangement information required to complete a New Hampshire Death Certificate, as well as to sign a Cremation Authorization Form.  He explained to me that ******************* had an insurance policy that was to pay for the cost of the cremation that was being requested. I explained to ****************** that in order to accept an insurance policy as a form of payment, we would need to have all of the beneficiaries listed on said insurance policy come to the funeral home after her passing, to provide the funeral home with the information from each of the beneficiaries, so that we could complete insurance assignment forms with each of the beneficiaries listed on the policy.  At the time of her death, *********************** daughter contacted the funeral home, and asked what the family needed to do about the insurance policy. I explained to her that someone would need to bring the policy to the funeral home so that we could verify the the policy was inforce and valid, as well as to let us know who the beneficiary or beneficiaries are that are listed on the policy.  Her daughter told me that the family had contacted the insurance company, and that the company would not share with them "all" of the beneficiaries listed on the policy.  I explained to her daughter that the only way that the funeral home could accept the insurance policy as a form of payment, was to have the information from "all" of the listed beneficiaries. She told me that they needed to take a day or so to try to determine that information. The funeral home moved forward and cremated ******************* and procured the Certified Copies of Death that were requested.  A couple days later ************** called me to say that he wanted to meet me to pay for the cost of his mother's cremation. He told me that he would be reimbursed for the payment from his portion of the insurance policy that his mother had.  We made an appointment to meet at the funeral home.  When he arrived at the funeral home he told me that he would be taking charge of his mother's funeral services from that point forward, I asked him is her husband, ****** had given him permission to take charge of his wife's arrangements, as he is her legal Next of Kin. ************** in no uncertain terms, replied "YES" he gave me permission. ************** provided me with a credit card for payment.  The cremation had already been completed and we had already gotten the Certified Copies of Death. I told ************** that I would release her cremated remains and Death Certificates to him at that time.  He told me that he wanted to order an urn for his mother, and would we hold her cremated remains until the urn arrived, at which time he would bring it to us to place her remains into the urn. I told him that we would be happy to do that for him.  He asked to take the death certificates at that time. I asked him to please make sure that ****** received the Death Certificates. He assured me that he would give them to ******************.

  While on my way home from work on Tuesday night, I received a call from ******************. He asked my why he had not heard from me about the status of his wife's cremation. I told him that I was working with her son, **************, as I was told that he was instructed by him to do so.  ****************** got very upset and told me that he never gave ************** permission to act on his behalf. I told him that ************** had paid for the cremation, and that I was just waiting for him to contact me about bringing the urn that was ordered to me to place her cremated remains into it and release her remains to him.  At that time ****************** explicitly instructed me NOT to release her remains to **************.  I apologized to ******************, and explained that I would not have acted as I did, if I knew that ************** was not truthful with me about having his permission to take over the arrangements.  At no time while making the payment, did ************** state that because he was paying for his mother's cremation, that he and he alone expected to be the person to take custody of the cremated remains simply based on the fact that he paid for the cremation. ************** called me that same afternoon to state that the urn was due to arrive this Friday, and that he would want to bring it to the funeral home. At that point I told ************** that I would not be able to release her cremated remains to him, as I received a call from ******************. And that ****************** instructed me NOT to release the cremated remains to him, and that ************** did not provide the death certificates to ****************** as he stated that he would.

  At this point in our conversation ****************** demeanor on the phone changed dramatically. ************** became angry and told me that if he was not the person to receive his mother's cremated remains, that he wanted a refund immediately. He told me that if he didn't receive an immediate refund, that he was going to call a lawyer. I explained to him that where the legal Next of Kin, ****************** called me and told me that ************** lied about being given permission to take over the arrangements, I would not be able to release them to him. ****************** has told me that the insurance proceeds have been mailed to his home for *********************** four children, totaling aprox. $20,000. I explained to ************** that we will be happy to provide him with a full refund to his credit card.  we just need another family member to provide payment for the services already provided to the family. I suggested to ************** that he have a conversation with ****************** about this matter. He told me that he was not going to speak to ******************
  

  ************** has attempted to post derogatory statements about me personally, as well as the funeral home, on the funeral home's website, as well as lodging a complaint with the Better business Bureau as you are well aware. I would like to say that ************** is acting in a way that a child would when having a "temper tantrum", but I know all too well how people can act when dealing with grief!

  I hope my detailed explanation of this matter provides the context that you need to know that I personally, and Goundrey Dewhirst Funeral Home did not act in such a way as to defraud ************** in a time of loss.

  Respectfuly,

  ********************************

  Funeral Director
  

   

  Customer response

  07/03/2024

  Better Business Bureau:I have reviewed the response submitted by the business and have determined that the response does not satisfy or resolve my issues and/or concerns in reference to complaint # ********. Please add your rejection comments below; if you do not provide any details, your complaint will be closed as Answered. 

  [You must provide details of why you are not satisfied with this resolution.  If you do not enter a reason for your rejection, your complaint will be closed as Answered.]
  
  Businesses and Customers should be civil, courteous and polite in their responses to complaints. It is important to remain professional and productive when participating in the BBB complaint process.
  
  Dear BBB,

  Im not sure how to respond to Mr. ********* unsubstantiated accusations.  Instead of taking responsibility and working with me to make an unimaginable situation better,this 30 year Veteran of Funeral Services, a self-proclaimed man of good character, who conducts himself professionally at all times (in his words),continues to insult my integrity by calling me a liar and a child.

  I had never lost a mother before, and ******************** with his 30 years of experience didnt explain the process clearly enough.  If he had done so, I would never have paid out of pocket for my mothers remains, I cant afford it.  The truth is, I live on state services, this payment along with the urn I purchased for my mothers remains will practically deplete my bank account.

  With his 30 years of experience, ******************** presumed to know my familys dynamics.   The fact is,****************** and I have never gotten along, and I never would have purchased something ****************** was entitled to.  Once I requested a refund, the responsibility should no longer have been mine.   If ***************** wanted the remains before the ************** funds were available, ***************** should have paid.  The ashes werent picked up by ****************** until 2 days later, there was plenty of time to issue my refund.
  Theres a principle here that seems to escape ******************** with all his experience.  In ******* or anywhere else, it shouldnt be ok to take advantage of someone who is in a vulnerable state of mind, and under tremendous emotional stress.

  In conclusion, after all this, I attempted to contact ******************** a few times.   As of today, I have yet to receive an explanation, an apology, or a common courtesy call back by a so called professional.  The only thing Ive received are insensitive, disrespectful and unprofessional remarks.
  That is the basis for my complaint.

  Sincerely,

  *************************
  

   

   

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